Influence

We all have influences in our lives. Some are good, some… not so good. But regardless of the type, they are still influences. At the same time, we influence others. Often, we’re not even aware how we have influenced someone else. Our children are a prime example of the strength of our influence.

They watch us constantly, learning from our every action and word. In his Fathers’ Day message, Matt Temple read us this quote:

And I have watched daughters talk to fathers. When you come in the room, they change. Everything about them changes: their eyes, their mouths, their gestures, their body language. Daughters are never lukewarm in the presence of their fathers. They might take their mothers for granted, but not you. They light up—or they cry. They watch you intensely. They hang on your words. They hope for your attention, and they wait for it in frustration—or in despair. They need a gesture of approval, a nod of encouragement, or even simple eye contact to let them know you care and are willing to help. When she’s in your company, your daughter tries harder to excel. When you teach her, she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. If you fully understood just how profoundly you can influence your daughter’s life, you would be terrified, overwhelmed, or both. Boyfriends, brothers, even husbands can’t shape her character the way you do. You will influence her entire life because she gives you an authority she gives no other man.

- Meg Meeker "Strong Fathers, Healthy Daughters"

Meeker is dead on. My father has been the strongest influence in my life. When I was 16, he taught me to drive. Yes, I took driver’s education, just like most other people my age. But Dad took me to the church parking lot and we drove in circles for hours so I could get the feel for the car before I drove in class. He also taught me about how cars work. He thought it was important that I know things about engines so some sleazebag mechanic wouldn’t be able to take advantage of me. My first car was a 1970 Dodge Challenger. The color was Plum Crazy. More importantly – the engine was a 318, rebuilt from a 1968 Plymouth Satellite. I know that because in order to get the Challenger… I had to help Dad rebuild that engine. He told me he didn’t expect me to remember every detail about how that engine was assemble, but he hoped I would remember how it worked: how the engine fired and the pistons move, why it needed oil and filters, what the starter and alternator did… well… you get the idea.  Just the basic stuff. He’s taught me a lot of things over the years. Not once did he just do something for me. We did it together and I learned from the experience.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about life with Dad is that I don’t want to disappoint him. Ever. He never mentions disappointment – you just know. My son has commented about it too. There’s just something about him that makes you want to do life the right way and make him proud of you.  I wish every kid could have a dad like mine. 

My father hasn’t been my only influence. I believe my character has been built one block at a time, and some of those blocks (small and large) have been provided by the people who have come into my life. I learn something from each person, and all those experiences make me who I am. I’ve been influenced by someone as recently as yesterday. Today is still young, I may yet be influenced by some unsuspecting friend…

We all influence someone, somewhere. Often we don’t realize it until much later, after the damage is done (especially if it’s a bad influence). And children are the most susceptible to our influence. That’s not to say we don’t influence other adults, because we do. I recently heard from two friends that they had decided to go back to college because I had done so. If I could graduate from college in my late forties, then they sure were going to give it a run. That was a very humbling experience for me. It also gave me reason to keep pushing forward, even when a little self-doubt had crossed my mind. These people who I had influenced were watching me. I couldn’t let them down.

The moral to my blog today is this: watch carefully your words and actions, because they affect others around you beyond your wildest imaginings. You are always an influence to someone, just as others influence you.

If you wish to hear Matt’s June 17th message, it can be found on the Connection QC site here: http://www.connectionqc.org/sermon_series